Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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