Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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