i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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