like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
