Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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