shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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