Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
