Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
