is your mom at the bar?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
