HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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