i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
