We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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