I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize