It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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