If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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