Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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