Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
