oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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