Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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