Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(404): View more from Georgia

He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

if you just come over, i will entertain you

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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(952): View more from Minnesota

The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward

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(727): View more from Florida

I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.

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