So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day