Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left