ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
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Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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