Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??