Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker