remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'