its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.