and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
