Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
