she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
