At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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