So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
