take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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