OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize
