i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
