So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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