I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
