News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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