She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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