I got chris browned last night
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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