I wish my penis had an off switch
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
