My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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