Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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