That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
