so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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