i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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