Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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