i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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