first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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