I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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