yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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