You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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