At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
