I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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