he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
