btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
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the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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