I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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