and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
