dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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