Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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