Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
