i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
