im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
