Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
