i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
