For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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