You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize